Distorted Thoughts

How can a set of feeling drawn you down back in to the same spiril I was in 3 or 5 weeks ago. I just want to not feel anything again but those feelings of guilt, anger, fear and depression are over and over ....I'm overwhelmed by the sheer panic it causes. My anxiety is gradually building and I'm out of control again.

I've learn I must have more faith, trust in God, and know there is a reason for all this insanity. I'm not the only one who goes through these things. Everybody struggles with something. I'm just so tired and just want to give up...quit the game!!! But is that fair to the people around me? Well, I keep being told life isn't fair!!! so why should it be fair to them!!!!

Well, I have had some pretty good days...spring break and I have time to myself and do things that I usually don't get to do. But after all that said...I still have to think about the feelings of not wanting to be around or just checking out. That's feeling. I'm not suppose to live by my feelings. Rain and pain just don't help keeping positive!!

Just wanted to post that to day is a good day and I think I've gotten what are truths out instead of believing the false beliefs.

Making mends...can I really admitt that I was wrong or that I had too much pride that night to really listen to what she was saying? I think I'm good at this...I question my capablilities do actually run a report but that's because I haven't had that much experience and what I do have has all be book and pretent acting in the classroom setting. Am I only good on paper? Can I really do this even part time...I like being a basic but I'm a lincened Intermediate...I should be able to run calls. I don't know what I'm doing or if I should be doing it. I think I can at least I wish I could do it part time....

So Step Nine -- saying I was wrong, asking for another chance
Worst case senioro: I don't get to do it anymore