Distorted Thoughts

As I start out a Monday...not very exciting and I got my work done by 1:30pm...I found it very boring! My thoughts were just wondering which I know leads me to jump into "what ifs". Then I started to think about what I don't want to talk about...the main topic seems to be my husband or my marriage. Why am I so chicken to ask the hard questions? Am I afraid of the answers? Someone asked me the other day...what do I get from this relationship? I don't know. I try to do things that please him...but he doesn't really reciptate. Sometimes I wish he would but I don't think he needs to do something all the time. Just getting text messages makes my day. I know I need to start...but where?